Is Everyone Exhausted or is it Just Me?

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It’s 6:43pm and I can hardly keep my eyes open. I haven’t been working late or getting up uber early.

It’s just where life is right now. I started a new job a few weeks ago. Well, I took the job. Shortly after finding out I got the job, I also found out my mom has ALS.

I explained to the company that my mom comes first and if they needed to hand the job over to someone else, I would understand.

They said family does come first and to go and take care of her how ever often I needed. The executive chef said both his parents died within three months of each other from cancer.

He asked how he could support me.

The job, they said, was still mine.

I’m fortunate to be with a company that honors this obligation.

So I worked my first two days, then took a week off to care for my mom during the kid’s spring break from school.

I’m also a single mom of two kids.

I know. Many women do this gig. For years. I mean, YEARS.

I don’t get how.

It’s bright and sunny out and I’m ready for bed.

At the same place of employment, I also teach a 6am spin class. I thank the Gods I only teach that class one day a week.

I’m sure my adrenals are shot. There has been so much turbulence in this life recently.

I cared for my mom for a week. She lives very out of town on the rugged northern coast of California.

I cooked for her, cleaned, moved her around, woke up all hours of the night when she called out for me. 

I even had to call 911 one night around 2am to report gun shots from the neighbors.

They were so close I thought a bullet might end up going through a window.

I also cared for the pack of dogs she has. Some hers, some that just show up who love her and she loves. I didn’t mind any of it. The kids came. They were the easy part for once.

Even with all of that, the bags under my eyes disappeared. I noticed it this morning as I got up to get the kids ready for school and myself ready for work.

Odd thing to have happen when I was actually sleeping less and working harder. Must have been the fresh air and slower pace at the coast.

I didn’t feel as tired either. I also didn’t get on my computer or phone nearly as much.

Quite possibly a big part of it. Perhaps I ‘unplug’ from everything on the internet (except my writing. It’s my sanity) for a bit to see what happens.

I have other things to do anyway. Play my Ukelele. Read. Write. Rest. Enjoy the only moment I have, the present moment. I’ll deal with the rest as it comes.

But first, sleep.

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Jhanna

Jhanna

Introverted parent here. I love hanging out with you, but then you need to go away for a while. Avid mountain biker, spin instructor, trail runner, eater, sleeper. You get the idea.

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